When we feel a lack of confidence we might experience fast heartbeat, heat and blushing. Perhaps we feel like hiding and sometimes our internal voice begins to tell us all sorts of negativities about ourselves. Do you recognise this? How does a lack of confidence feel for you?
There's a physical experience of confidence or a lack of confidence. But confidence reaches much further and beyond our physical body. This is why I here give five tips and tricks to boost confidence. Each tip represents an aspect of us. If Imagine your body as a lampshade. The lampshade is covered by four sheets. Each sheet represents a layer of our body. First is our physical body, then our breathing body (the breath), next is our mental body (that's that internal voice and our thoughts), then our wisdom layer (that is that part of us that guards our trust in and believes about ourselves and the world) and finally we reach the lamp itself this is our growth body, also known as the spiritual layer (the layer that makes us feel fulfilled, loved, joyful and gives us meaning in life).
To boost our confidence we need to acknowledge and work on each layer. Here are five tips and tricks to make sure you cover each layer and that you end up feeling confidence so that you can live your dream future and make this world a better place!
Here we go:
FIVE TIPS TO FEEL MORE CONFIDENT, TODAY
- 1 - CHANGING PHYSIOLOGY:
Confidence is an emotion. An emotion is a certain movement that needs to come out or be expressed. We are generally okay when feeling emotions such as joy, confidence and love because they make us feel relaxed, calm and expansive. A lack of confidence, feeling shy and anxious does the opposite for us, making us feel tight, constricted and unable to be ourselves. As long as we feel an emotion, it is a stuck emotion in our body, we are living in the past. So to boost the confidence we need to move the body, change our physiology and take poses that reverse those constricted feelings. These three yoga poses will help you change and boost your confidence. They can be done daily and at that moment or just before that moment you know will make you feel anxious.
- Mahavirbadrasna - Warrior II
- Trikonasana - Extended Triangle Pose
- Bhadra Apsara Asana - Beautiful Angel Pose (or Natarajasana - Dancing Shive Pose)
- 2 - CHANGING STRESS ACTIVATING BREATHING PATTERNS:
When we feel a lack of confidence we are unable to express ourselves fully and be the person that we truly are. In those moments when we feel a lack of confidence, we might experience we are being dominated by others. This means that we sometimes end up saying yes to something we would rather have said no to or we can end up agreeing with a statement that doesn't sit well with us afterwards.
Therefore we need to work on our voice and breath. Being confident in your voice well help you be honest and authentic. By changing breathing patterns we are able to shift our body from feeling stressed, anxious and shy to feel relaxed, grounded and confident. Training our breath and voice will make us feel okay coughing when everybody is quiet (rather than containing it until it's so uncomfortable that we get a cough-attack). By traiing our breath and voice we will become steady enough to speak our mind, listen to others and feel empowered to change our mind and principles if we need to (rather than feeling we lose face if we are wrong). Here are three different breathing techniques that will boost your confidence:
- Arms breathing (An active breath where the arms move above the head on every inhale and lower with each exhale. The breath is rapid and moving through the nostrils).
- Brahmeree Breath - (also known as honeybee breath. The inhale is silent and slow. With every exhale you make a humming sound, just like when you taste something really yummy, 'mmmmmhhh...' This breath activates a state of heart coherence that ensures a healthy Heart Rate Variability).
- Lion Breath - Do this breathing technique in a seated pose or try it out in Durgasana (Goddess pose). It's a powerful and challenging breathing technique.
- 3 - SEE WITHOUT JUDGEMENT
Then we come to our thoughts. For many of us, it is so normal to judge others and ourselves that I barely know which one came first. But what I do know is that judging others will make you judge yourself harder and judging yourself will make you harder on others. Judgement takes away our confidence. It is very clear that we need to reverse this ASAP!. From now on begin to notice when you judge others. Not just negatively judgements but in general. For example, you see a person walking down the street and you instantly think that that person's t-shirt is ugly, or their shoes are cool. Just notice. Perhaps you notice even more horrible thoughts you have about others. Fear not, you will be able to change this. Once you notice, begin to disidentify with those thoughts. Realty is that those thoughts aren't useful as it makes you much harder on yourself. When we stop attaching 'I like' and 'I don't like' to everything we become much freer to live in the present and be authentic. Learn to see the world and others as they are rather than through the lenses of like and don't like.
- 4 - GET TO KNOW YOUR CORE VALUES:
It's a great moment when we realise that it is ourselves that makes us feel a lack of confidence. This is a great realisation because then we can do something about it straight away. So now I encourage you to sit down and get to know you a bit better. The better we get to know ourselves the easier it is to make good decisions. It is easier to say 'no' and express our opinions when we know them. Take a moment to figure out your core values, write them down and hang them on your bathroom mirror where you'll see them. By remembering your core values you are ably to act in a way that aligns with them. This will leave you feeling confident with your decisions and with a sense of both legs grounded on the earth. By knowing our core values we begin to understand why some decisions sit well with us and why others do not.
- 5 - MAKING SENSE OF LIFE:
Emotions are experienced in the physical body. Emotions change our breathing patterns and are present in our brain as thoughts. Emotions make us doubt ourselves and impacts the way we make decisions. But emotions do not have the power to reach the deepest layer of our selves. That's the final layer, the layer that we in yoga define as the layer of light or joy. Emotions are not who we are. Emotions are passing by and constantly changing, like the physical body, the breath and our thoughts. Therefore we must not identify with our emotions. Having a meditation, yoga or another spiritual practise will ensure that we have something of value to live for, to wake up to and to guide us in making meaning and sense of life. Connecting with this aspect of ourselves daily will ensure that are confident because we know that we are so much more than this physical body. Should we blush, cough or say something wrong we can stand stronger as we are aware that it does not affect our true self.
Working in these five areas are bound to leave you feeling more confident. Perhaps you have always wanted to go on a stage, speak to a big amount of people, teach, share and create awesome presentations NOW YOU CAN!
You are always welcome to email me with any questions you may have!
Love to you!