We say that the 5 people we spend the most time with, are the 5 people that we become. Therefore choosing who to spend our time with is important to our wellbeing, happiness, health and state of mind.
There are people in our lives who we choose to be around, like our partner and friends. But there are also people in all of our lives that we have no choice but to be around, like neighbours, work colleagues, even family and other groups of people, like as a part of treatment at the hospital.
For many of us, friends and family, though our closest loved ones aren’t actually the people we spend the most time with. Rather work colleagues or the people living in our area are the ones that we spend the most time with on a daily basis. This means that the environment that we are less in control of, we have to hope match who we are.
But this isn’t always the case and some of us find ourselves in rather negative environments where we differ from the people we surrounded ourselves with. Perhaps we think and approach life in a different way, perhaps we live, eat and move in a different way. For some of us, the nearest ones around us are not the ones that make us feel whole, understood or inspired.
Can you relate to some of this? Are you finding yourself in an environment that is draining you? Perhaps the environment and the people are taking away your positive energy, hopes and inspiration?
No one deserves to feel like that. So what can you do? Because as we also know, changing the mindset of the people around us will take lifetimes but turning towards ourselves and make the changes there, is a possible mission leading us towards ultimate freedom!
Okay, first thing first, of course, if we find ourselves in an environment of negativity, we can still move among those people with love, respect and even friendship. Differences don’t take us further apart, but brings us closer together in the human experience we call life.
But being in an environment that is negative can affect us which has huge impacts on our life, health and wellbeing.
The first step to a healthy long life is cheerfulness. So how can we ensure, despite spending the majority of our time in a negative environment, that we stay in our optimal state of mind where we are thriving, cheerful and able to do the things we want to do? I have here collected 5 points that have helped me to stay me through negativity.
1 - KEEPING AN OPEN HEART:
It sounds like a cliche, none the less, it is the ultimate truth. Everything we see around us is run by energy, the sun, the rivers, cars, planes and trains. We are so comfortable talking about energy when it comes to the world around us. There are different kinds of energy and they can change type as well: chemical energy, thermal energy, motion energy and so forth. But when we turn towards understanding ourselves many of us feel a lack of connection to the energy we carry and that run us, not just the physical body, but also the mind and thoughts. We can have thoughts that are empowering and energising and we can have some that are the opposite. This energy I describe here has nothing to do with the energy we get from food. It’s the energy that keeps you in bed all day if a partner has left you or a friend hurt you and the same energy that makes you rush out of bed if you get a phone call from that loved one that they are coming over and would like to make it work again. In this situation we didn’t eat ourselves to more energy, nor exercise, we simply changed our state of mind from feeling drained to uplifted. As with any other energy, if there’s a blockage, whatever is depending on that energy, will stop functioning properly after some time.
When we are in negative environments we often, to protects ourselves, close our hearts off from the people around us. We are blocking energy. This means that after some time we feel even more drained, heavy and worried. It becomes harder to rise in the morning and do the things that make us happy. There’s a simple way to fix this: Learn to keep your heart wide open, no matter what goes on.
Keeping the heart wide open we do by letting go of principles. The world isn’t made for set structures of thoughts. Of course, there are things that are important to us, but making it a principle means that we stopped thinking about it and has created a set way of thinking and meaning with regards to that subject. Loosen up by always giving yourself a choice, perhaps its the same choice, opinion or thought over and over again, perhaps it isn’t. Letting go of principles is not to become soft or easy to overrule, it is to make us much stronger with the ability to be present and make conscious choices. Keep an open heart also means that you are able to let the negativity that you are exposed to unwillingly flow through your body in a quick smooth manner and out again. When blocking the energy, the negativity will also get stuck in there. This body and mind are made to remember and store everything that we experience to make us survive. The body isn’t made to forget. Keep your heart open and let the experiences flow through you, without taking a hold of you.
Micheal A Singer has written the most beautiful book on this subject called the Untethered Soul. Are you in a negative environment, get hold of this book ASAP is my first suggestion to you.
2 - BE YOU - Express your joys and success:
Apart from being affected by the negativity around us, we also have a tendency to tone down our own joy, success and happiness. Are we surrounded by people who are dissatisfied with their lives, complaining and in general negative, many of us, so to speak, tone down our own happiness. Perhaps in a try to not make ourselves better than them, and also to be able to connect with their situation. The reality is, none the less, that this toning down of who we are and the good that we see in our lives are not a helpful tool to our own life experience.
It takes courage, but be you. We all have darkness in our lives, no doubt about that. But perhaps you are a person, that sees darkness as an opportunity for growth and you have faith that light will shine again. Be yourself, express your joys (as well as sorrows), talk about your success and what you have achieved, share your happiness. Perhaps it will inspire the people around you, to rise above negativity and feel joy, peaceful, hopeful and empowered.
3- BE SELECTIVE and INVEST IN CHEERFULNESS:
As there are vast amounts of moments in our lives where we are not in charge of the environment that surrounds us. Maybe our workplace or school are infused with negativity. To balance that, we must be aware of what times during your day where we can influence our environment and choose positivity. In your home or on your way to work, be selective with what you let in through radio, tv, internet, books and magazine. 80% of news is negative, and if we are already finding ourselves in a negative atmosphere, letting more negative stuff reach us, will not create a balance. Therefore be selective, choose what to watch, listen to and read. Choose books, films, tv programmes and magazines that make you feel inspired and want to live, breathe and learn. The people we see on TV or listen to on the radio also become the people we mirror, unconsciously or unconsciously. They become role models, they set the standard. Therefore find people who really inspire you, not the ones that make you angry and that you want to argue with rather find people who inspire you and share your wished state of mind. Listen to podcasts, read books, watch films that you yourself choose!
Also, if possible put money and recourses towards investing in your well-being. Join groups, classes, festivals or events where you meet like-minded people, where you dance, sing, learn, move, meditate and breathe in happiness and joy. Remember, cheerfulness is the first most important medicine for health. Invest time and money in stating cheerful. It is cheaper to invest in cheerfulness now than diets, cures and treatment later on.
4- INVEST IN YOUR HEALTH:
Another investment that is available for must of us to make is in our diet. We become what we eat. The way we eat can help us balance out the negativity around us. If we can’t move away from this negativity, it’s about finding ways to balance it with positivity. One way is to invest time and money into your diet. Eat homemade, happy organic food to feel energised and strong. Eat food that is easy to digest, as negativity isn’t easy to digest. Feeding your body food that is hard to digest will drain you even more.
Create a space for your meal that is calm and positive. Are you having lunch at your work in the negative surroundings either eat outside and sit some moments before eating your food focusing on your thoughts, directing them towards a positive state of mind:
The best emotion to clear away any form of negativity is GRATITUDE. Before eating think of one thing, two things or three things that you are deeply grateful for in your life.
We eat and digest not only our food but also our emotions and what may surround us. Eating in a state of mind of GRATITUDE will help you digest much better.
5- Non-violent communication:
And here at last, but not least I want to ask you, would it be possible for you to communicate with the people around you of their negativity and how it impacts you? There are many positive ways to open up to conversations like this, and I think that in many situations we can actually articulate this subject of negativity. For me talking about these things are a part of honesty. It makes me feel uncomfortable to be around people who I think one thing of but act differently around. I like there to be consistency between my thoughts and actions. Is it beneficial for the people around you to bring up the subject? If yes, then I think it is worth it. I like to be able to receive feedback from others about my actions so that I can improve and change where I need. We all need others to help us grow and take care of us, and we all need to take that role for others as well. With love and compassion and curiosity.
Opening up to subjects like this with curiosity and questions enables you to hear what goes on in their mind and we are able to understand each other and connect much more deeply. Use sentences such as “When you do XYZ it makes me feel XYZ” or “I was wondering if you have noticed that you often XYZ” or “I am curious to know what makes you say XYZ?” “What do you mean when you say XYZ?”.
Perhaps you are a person that already feels comfortable approaching people and asking them the reasons for their actions or words, perhaps you are not. Either way, there is a really awesome book that can help you be even better at communicating with people around you and take part in the environment. Because remember, there might be a negative environment around you BUT it needs someone to step forward and start changing it. Be the role model!
The book is called Nonviolent Communication and is written by Marshall B. Rosenberg
6- One more thing - PRIME YOURSELF
And the last important key to staying positive in negativity - Take time, every morning or before approaching the dreaded environment to connect and love yourself, I call this PRIMING. For some of us, it is 5 minutes of breathing, or journaling or asana or silent meditation or free dance or loud music.
Find your five minutes (or 15 minutes) every morning to tune into your ultimate state of mind; connect with yourself, your gratitude, your hopes, dreams and joys in life. This is for you, and for the world. Where focus goes energy flows. From a positive state of mind you are able, we are able, to take the world in a positive direction that impacts the people closest to as well as the people furthest away from you.
YOU FREAKING ROCK!!!
Here’s a sum up:
- Read Michael A Singer’s book called An Untethered Soul
- Express your success, joy and happiness in life
- Choose your role models, set high standards
- Optimise your diet and eating environment with the feeling of GRATEFULNESS
- Invest in cheerfulness
- Use nonviolent communication to approach the subject of negativity
- Read Nonviolent Communication by Marshall B. Rosenberg
- Create a daily priming practice
I hope you enjoyed reading along! You are welcome to leave a comment with your suggestions and experiences of what makes you stay positive through negativity. You have so much to teach and we would love to learn from you!
LOVE LOVE LOVE